March 2005 Archives

Fingertip in chili remains a mystery at Wendy

Wendy’s is desperately trying to prove its innocence. The company says it investigated the March 22 incident and insists the 1.5-inch fingertip — which appears to be a woman’s because it was manicured — did not come from the restaurant or any of its suppliers.

“We haven’t found anything to support allegations Wendy’s or our supply chain were the source of the object in question,” says spokesman Bob Bertini. So, who is at fault? “We can’t speculate.”

All I can say is 1.5 inches of my finger — I would notice it was missing.

This morning I began my new life as an exploited of the immigrant masses. I hired two day laborers for $6.25 an hour to help move boxes and other random bits from our old office to our new one. It felt oddly wrong to be hiring these two guys to do something so irretrievably dull for so little in a city that costs so much. Granted $6.25 is above the minimum wage, but I still didn’t feel comfortable about it.

The best part was when all the guys that were waiting for work said basically none of them would work for less than $10 an hour. It was a day laborer union. It was beautiful! I was so happy that they were demanding something approaching decent. Too bad two guys came up and said they would do it for what we originally offered because they needed the work. I guess I should be happy that the two guys that needed the work got it.

This evening, on the phone with Katie:

“He knows all these bands that you wouldn’t know, but that most people do.”

Are you a jew? Me neither, but that’s no reason not to celebrate Purim, my new favorite Jewish holiday. According to Judaism101.com, on Purim Jews are “commanded to eat, drink and be merry. According to the Talmud, a person is required to drink until he cannot tell the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordecai,” though opinions differ as to exactly how drunk that is”

Sounds good to me, people! Count me in, I like Hamantashen, do you?

Jews has the kosher law, Christians have the same Levitical law but choose to ignore it, I have the Lars Diet.

Article 1. Restrictions

All food must meet the following requirements:

1. Food products containing in whole or in part from the flesh of an organism that did not once have feet are forbidden.
Definitions and clarifications
1. Claws do not qualify as feet unless they are attached to poulty and certain fowl, including but not limited to pheasant and dove
2. Fowl with webbed feet meet the feet requirement, i.e. duck
3. Hooves count as feet, however, paws do not
2. Food products containing or made in whole or in part from organisms that swim are prohibited. This includes any animals that may have feet like apendages, including but not limited to shrimp, crabs, sponges, octupi (unless battered and fried), and lobster
3. NOTE: Previous versions of the law included the requirement that consumables not swim in their own excrement, but exceptions proved too numerous and the rule was changed in the name of simplicity.

Article 2. Scope

1. This law applies only to animals and not to plants, minerals or other formerly non-sentient consumables.

Article 3. Exceptions

This law shall not apply to the following animals

1. fish that has been introduced to the consumer while still living
2. salmon is allowed at the discretion of the consumer
3. tuna fish, shredded and mixed with mayonnaise and sweet relish and served on a cracker of slice of bread
4. alligators and crocodiles are prohibited in all cases

Article 4. Amendments

This law is subject to change without warning

For a man and a party with so single-minded a crusade to eliminate nuance and shading from politics, the president and the larger Republican party sure have a convoluted “right to life” policy. On one hand you have the case of Terry Schiavo, a woman who, for the last 15 years, has been kept alive in a comatose state by an intravenous feeding tube. This despite the efforts of her husband to stop the feeding and let his wife die. The governor of Florida and its state legislature have made special efforts to ensure this does not happen. When the courts determined that Schiavo’s husband has the right, as her guardian, to end her long coma, the federal congress in the form of Tom DeLay, et al. stepped in with custom legislation to keep her alive. On the other hand you have a set of policies that either contradict or support this unequivocal call to sustain life at all costs.

• as governor of Texas, George Bush refused to stay the execution of one single condemned inmate, despite Texas’s rank as the number one executioner in the Union
• President Bush refuses to support the use of embryonic stem cells in medical research that could save the lives of hundred or thousands because it would constitute ending a potential life, despite the fact that this material is frozen and will end up being destroyed
• Congress and the president refuse to support late-term abortions in the case of danger to the life of the mother, despite knowing that in many cases the mother will die and the child will likely too
• groups claiming to be pro-life and more often than not Republican (not to mention Christian) bomb abortion and health planning clinics or murder physicians that perform abortions, despite the fact that this results in a net loss of life

These policies do not work, they do not make sense, they do no follow the traditional values of Republicans. Why not rationalize this stuff — intercede where it can benefit the country as a whole (stem cells) and back off when it is clearly no business of the government (the Schiavo case)? The answer is because President Bush and much of the Republican party aren’t interested in helping people, so much as using issues to scare, cajole, or manipulate the country.

So, for all of you who aren’t “in the know” I will explain. Paper magazine is what all the “cool,” “hip,” “with-it,” people in New York read to get cooler, hipper, and with-iter. Needless to say, I do not read this magazine. They won’t even let me look at it at the newstand. However, because my lovely friend Andrea works at Paper I actually get invited to the “super-cool” parties that it throws regularly.

This week’s party was the Beautiful People Party 2005 at Select in Hell’s Kitchen. I was under the impression that Scissor Sisters were going to be performing, which I knew would make Steve very jealous, but that was a dirty dirty lie people. England’s favorite American band did not perform and I am not even sure they showed up at all. they suck.

It doesn’t matter though because a whole slew of fabulous people I know showed up. We had a blast ordering 6 drinks at a go from the bartender, who seemed to like us. Maybe it was the overtipping.

Sadly there is no photographic evidence because my camera is still indisposed and Katie’s has temporarily disappeared. Maybe next time guys.

Those folks over at Intuit offer a FREE way to file your federal taxes and a free state in some cases, but they don’t advertise it and if you aren’t careful you end up paying almost $50 to file the damn things. But, if you got to [this website(http://www.taxfreedom.com/) you can use TurboTax for free.

Here’s what happened: the IRS wants everyone to use e-filing because it is so much cheaper and so it decided to create its own e-file system online. Intuit got all upset and the two agreed that Intuit would create a free version of TurboTax, which it would then try and keep a big fat secret. Even the IRS website doesn’t prominently display any information about free TurboTax.

That’s OK, the blogosphere will take over. That site again: http://www.taxfreedom.com/. And the state version for people who qualify: http://www.statetaxfreedom.com/.

Enjoy.

A piece in New York magazine has made me feel a lot better about my neighborhood. Once upon a time I thought I lived in the ghetto and was going and would be the victim of a mugging or a vicious rat attack. That time is over now — my neighborhood’s crime is as low as the mid-80s about 20 blocks south of me. Plus, getrification is on it’s way to our area, called Manhattan Valley, so soon I will be able to visit Starbucks without taking the train and thanks to the beauties of rent stabalization I won’t have to move out when rents go sky high. And one better, I will be the guy everyone envy’s for paying so little for such a great place in a cool neighborhood. Rock on!!

The news from the home front is that I am missing a bitter coldsnap, which I have to say I am not all that sad about. London has been chilly, but nothing like what New York is experiencing right now. My dearest Katie’s apartment was so cold last night that she had to sleep in the following (listed from innermost garment):

1. long johns
2. union suit
3. scrubs
4. sweatshirt
5. sweater
6. snow hat
7. socks
8. fuzzy boots
9. scarf (wrapped about head, only nose exposed)

Katie’s heat wasn’t up to the wind last night, I hope tonight is better.

Dear Readers,

Things continue swimmingly here in the Greyest City in the Universe. Today it was Westminster Abbey and getting kicked out of the Bank of England Museum. Earlier this week it was Saturday Night Fever (yay Disco), the Transport Museum (OMG, I loved it), an exhbition of random stuff called the Gilbert Collection (micromosaics are so cool). Tonight we are going to see a show, Acrorn Antiques, based on a sketch from a comedy show on TV. It is the hottest ticket in town and Steve’s flatmate was able to find us some seats. Very nice bloke.

I’m now at the midway point and I am feeling like I have done a good deal of stuff. Next on my list is a lunchtime concert at St. Martin-in-the-Fields, the London Eye Ferris wheel, and the Science Museum. Steve and I are going to check out Selfridges this weekend I think, that should be fun. I still have to buy gifts, too.

Cheers, Lars

Dear Readers,

I long to have the subtle snarkiness of the English, they are truely my comic heros (save of course, John). Last night Steve and I watched some comedy show on the BBC, which I thought was quite hilarious and Steve thought it was not at all. Oh well, it’s OK, I like him anyway (even if the caricature doll of Camilla didn’t make him roll of the floor).

Anyway, so far it has been a very good trip. I got in on Friday and took a nap for most of the day seeing as I couldn’t get any sleep on the plane on account of the girl next to me slapping me in the face with her pillow every time I was about to doze off. (side note, I still do not undertsand the physics of her repeatedly hitting me about the the face and neck with that damn thing.) On Saturday we went out and about for a bit and then go tired and took another long nap. Entirely too long it turns out, as I didn’t sleep much that night.

Yesterday Steve and I went to the Cabinet War Rooms, which I highly recommend to anyone in London. The CWR are a warren of underground rooms converted in 1938 for use by Prime Minster Winston Churchill. According to the museum most of the rooms are just as they were when the rooms were sealed up a few days after the surrender of the Japanese in 1945.

Today I had to entertain myself as Steve has to work, so I wandered around starting at Hyde Park and ending up in Westminster. The park is very nice, even in the winter. I especially like that because it is a royal park they have a dirt horse trot around the outside for riding. How aristocratic. Hyde park is directly adjacent to Kensington Park, where I nipped in to take a look at the Albert Monument. It’s huge and ugly. You have to see it in person to really grasp it’s giant ugliness, actually. But it was interesting — Queen Victoria was not kidding when she said she loved him and maybe missed him a little.

I was planning on going on the tour of Westminster Abbey but it closed before I got in, so I will have to go later in the week. I also didn’t get to go into the Starngers’ Galleries in the Houses of Parliment because the lines were too long, but I want to try and get in sometime. Question Time is apparenly impossible to get tickets to unless you plan in advance, so that’s out — it would have been fun to see the House of Commons bicker at one another though, I wish the Senate would do some more official bickering for my personal enjoyment.

Anyway, in a bit we are going to see Staurday Night Fever. No Mary Poppins was available, which is sad, but this should be fun too.

Cheers, Lars

Tomorrow I leave for London to visit Steve for a week. It should be a really good trip all around. Last time I was in London back in 2002 my time was short because I was really just on my way to Prague and I didn’t get to do much exploring. This time I intend to fully canvass the city. Unfortunately I wouldn’t expect too many pictures because the evil CompUSA still has my camera for repair (after 20+ days). It’ll be a disposable for me and that means I will probably not end up taking any for fear of taking the wrong ones. I’m a nerd like that. If I do get any taken I’ll be sure and post them here.

As of now, 2 days 17 hours, until I land. Yay.

The British government is throwing the book at the BBC today. It announced a new “green paper” that will it hopes will ensure the continuation of the BBC’s mission as a public service broadcaster, by more explicitly outline what exactly qualifies as public service broadcasting. Word is that home makeover shows and other reality TV will be out because they are “derivative” but original comedies and drama are staying.

Maybe this new way for the BBC will prove successful in achieving good ratings and teach other broadcasters (I’m talking to you NBC, ABC, CBS) that quality programming, i.e. not more reality crap, doesn’t mean poor ratings.

Smarter not dumber is the way to go, and maybe the BBC can show us the way (again).

[via ThisisLondon]